Fatherhood

Just like everyone, our family was stunned by the news of the early and sudden death of Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter. There were 9 in the helicopter so there are others that are suffering just as much with the loss of a family member. We pray for comfort for them also. I guess when you hear about the early death of a celebrity, everyone is so shocked because you almost feel like you know them. It’s no less shocking for a close family member that dies suddenly but with a well known person in the public eye, it is a collective shock and mourning from people all over the world. They are larger than life it seems, but we forget that they are people just like you and me and they are subject to the same things in this life….the good things and the bad things…the happy things and the sad things. Something like this brings home the frailty of life to everyone.

I still remember where I was when we heard the shocking news of the assassination of JFK way back in the 60s, also Princess Diana’s sudden death, Michael Jackson…and I will remember where I was when I heard this shocking news about 41 year old Kobe Bryant. It’s almost like time stands still for a second and your brain takes a snap shot of the shocking event the first time you hear it and it will stay in your memory forever. It is tragic. It is haunting. It is surreal and most of all, it’s just plain sad. It’s not suppose to happen like this at such a young age…especially for Kobe’s daughter who had her whole life ahead of her. Kobe and his daughter were close, as we could all see, and they had plans for their futures… but their future didn’t happen as they had planned. The same is true for the other passengers in that helicopter. Their families are grieving the loss of their loved ones just like the Bryants… but in a more private way.

The first time I remember hearing about Kobe Bryant was when I was home visiting my parents many years ago. We were a very sports-minded family so of course my father watched the sports channels all of the time. As we were watching, the channel was showing a young, cocky, 17 year old kid named Kobe Bryant, who they claimed would one day be a superstar in basketball. I remember my mother saying that she thought he had a cute smile. Well he did become a superstar and his smile was as iconic as he was. Not only did this young kid have the talent, but he had the drive and that insatiable will to win. I don’t think he ever lost it. I think the cockiness slightly mellowed over the years and he became a leader that inspired his teammates to be the best they could be. There were many people that were not fans of his at all, but fans or not, you can’t deny that he had amazing talent on the basketball court. He wasn’t a perfect man. He made mistakes, like all of us do, but he seemed to pull his life back together after some trouble in 2003 and became a good family man and especially a good attentive father. Life is about experiences, learning lessons and trying to be better. I think he did that.

He was very involved in his daughter’s basketball. She had his smile and I can imagine she had the same drive that he had too. As he was contemplating his future after his retirement I think he found a way to, not only be involved in the sport that he loved, but to also be a big part of his daughter’s life. He had 4 daughters that I bet he would have groomed to be great basketball players too. Who knows what he could have done for woman’s basketball. All of those plans were snuffed out with this tragic ending. But his legacy will always be here. The only bit of comfort that we can feel is that Kobe and his daughter went together and if you believe in an after life, like I do, I know that all 9 passengers in the helicopter are well and happy and still live. Time, the great healer will help those left behind but what a tough road they have to travel. My heart goes out to them…especially Kobe’s wife who lost a husband and a daughter.

When Jimmer played for the Sacramento Kings, our family was really excited for them to play against the LA Lakers because we knew we would see Kobe Bryant play in person. A very kind friend of ours let us sit in their court side seats which happened to be right next to the Lakers bench. Of course I was star struck and made sure I had my video camera. What a thrill for us to see Jimmer out there playing against all of those guys. It was almost surreal to see him play against one of his childhood idols in basketball. He actually had to guard Kobe for awhile. He did very well against him and he was the typical confident Jimmer out there. I can’t remember how many points he had but it was in the teens and he played very well. So exciting.

The next time the Kings played the Lakers it was away in the Staple Center. It just so happened that my son, TJ, and two friends of his, were in LA at the time and Jimmer was able to get them good seats. The Kings lost the game but Jimmer had a good game scoring 18 points in 12 minutes. It was exciting for TJ to see his brother doing so well against the Lakers. It didn’t matter that they lost the game, because like a true good brother, he was just there to support and cheer for Jimmer.

I was watching the game on television and at the end when they shake hands, I noticed that Kobe said something to Jimmer… so being the curious Mom, I asked Jimmer what he said. He told me that Kobe said to him “Nice shooting young fella.” That meant a lot to Jimmer coming from one of the greatest shooters in the league and it probably means a lot more to him now. After hearing that encouraging, gracious comment from Kobe to my son, he became one of my favorite players and I’ve never forgotten it. He also tweeted out something to Jimmer, on the Chinese equivalent of our Twitter, after Jimmer scored 75 pts for Shanghai. Kobe respected the talents of others and he obviously noticed Jimmer’s scoring abilities. I know that Jimmer appreciated the kindness and acknowledgement from Kobe to him. It meant a lot.

So rest in peace Kobe Bryant, his daughter and the other passengers…. and God bless and comfort those left behind.

I will show you some pictures and video that I took sitting near the Lakers bench. I think my daughter Lindsay was sitting next to me just as thrilled as I was. The first video I took of Jimmer all alone in the middle of the court. It was a packed house that night with lots of excitement. The year before Jimmer had just come off being voted college player of the year and had a lot of fans and of course Kobe was a legend in basketball already. I always wondered what Jimmer was thinking about being out there with one of his favorite childhood players. He grew up being in the limelight on the basketball court so I think he probably just took it all in stride like all of the professional players. What a thrill for him and I’m sure the memories of it mean more to him now that Kobe is gone.

You will see in one of these videos that the Lakers coach stood in front of me a lot of the time but it was kind of interesting listening to him complain to the refs. They are all just short clips and a little blurry but you get the idea of what I was seeing. Wish I had taken more. This was a good Lakers team with Kobe, Derek Fischer, Luke Walton, Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol, Steve Blake etc.

Take care everyone.

The very first encounter with Jimmer and Kobe.

Kobe watching as Jimmer made the shot.

I was close enough to see his tattoo.

Kobe and his teammate Derek Fischer, who was also a very good player. He said some nice supportive things to Jimmer also.

Kobe in his familiar resting stance on the court.

Kobe looked right at me when I was taking this video. Maybe I wasn’t suppose to be doing that.

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Last Monday night, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, a private plane soared through the night sky en route to the United States. On board that plane was a soon to be first time father who was anxiously awaiting touching down in Denver. This was the 3rd time in only a matter of weeks that this soon to be father had taken on the grueling task of traveling 6,696 miles from Shanghai, China to his home in Colorado. As he sat upon the beautiful aircraft gazing out over the sea, thoughts of fatherhood raced through his mind.

Fast forward. . . three days later, Jimmer (the soon to be father) and his wife Whitney, are now at the hospital anticipating their big moment. Meanwhile in Sacramento, my cell phone was on high alert as I eagerly awaited receiving the special announcement text, which could now come at anytime. As the night went on I received numerous texts, but not one of them was the one I was most hoping for. Then once two in the morning rolled around, I realized that little Wesley James was operating on her own time table.

Back in China, around the time that the sun was coming up in Denver, Jimmer’s Shanghai Sharks were just taking to the court to play their first CBA playoff game in years. Obviously when they took to that court, they did so without their leading scorer. When tip-off ensued, that leading scorer was all of the 6,600 miles away in Denver, now on only two hours sleep as he started worrying that the birth of his new baby girl might not take place before his flight back to China was due to depart. Jimmer was now facing the dilemma of choosing to miss his flight, and in doing so assuring that he would also miss his teams 2nd playoff game, or choosing to keep his flight, which would mean he would have flown all of the way from China, only to just miss the once in a lifetime birth of his first child. Hours later that decision was made even more difficult, when Jimmer received the news that his Sharks had just dropped game 1 of their first playoff series by 40 points. Game 2 was only a day and a half away. The Sharks needed Jimmer, and Jimmer knew it.

Not too long after the news of the Sharks loss hit home, I was rolling out of bed. Immediately I took to my phone, expecting some good news to be waiting for me – but still no word had come. The waiting game continued.

Eventually came 1:46 PM Denver time. That very minute is a time that will be etched in the brain of my little brother for the rest of his life. It was at exactly 1:46, when a man who had achieved many milestones in his life as a successful basketball player, had suddenly reached a new milestone – one that would undoubtedly dwarf any others that he had ever reached. This is a man who had broken the Glens Falls High School all time scoring record, the Section 2 all time scoring record, the BYU all time scoring record, the BYU single game scoring record, the Mountain West Conference single game scoring record. . . a man who he had lead the NCAA in scoring in 2011, won the John Wooden Award, won the Oscar Robertson award, won the James Naismith National College Player of the Year award, won an ESPY for the male athlete of the year award. . . a man who reached his ultimate dream by being drafted into the NBA in the 2011. . . a man who had achieved all of these prestigious accomplishments and many more. . . but even with all of these incredible successes under his belt, none of them could even come close to comparing to the feeling that he felt at 1:46 on this past Friday afternoon, when that man officially became a father. Just hours before Jimmer was set to fly back to China, Wesley James Fredette made her appearance into the world. This beautiful baby girl was born just one day before her father’s birthday. Holding his little daughter in his arms for the first time was an experience that Jimmer said was the greatest moment of his life. The 13 hour flight to be there for that monumental moment was nothing. If the flight was 100 hours, it would have been a very small price for Jimmer to pay to be there for what he later told us was an absolutely surreal experience. One that will live on in his memory forever.

When I finally personally received the text that I had been waiting to receive for over 24 hours, it was a thrilling moment, but also for me, a very hard concept to even grasp. My little brother… my once curly haired sidekick who had tagged along with my friends and I no matter where we went. . . my best little buddy who I used to bounce on the trampoline with in the backyard. . . my right hand man who was the water boy for every sports team I ever played on. . . my best friend, my main man who looked up to me as we grew up in that tiny little house in upstate New York. . . that same little guy is actually now a dad. It’s a testament to the fact that time stands still for no one, and with each passing second we are all closer to being greeted by life changing experiences. At 1:46 this past Friday, my little brother experienced one that he will cherish for the rest of his life. Congratulations Jimmer and Whitney! You guys are parents!

As for game 2 of the CBA playoffs, Jimmer and his team overcame a 15 point deficit to pull out an absolutely crucial overtime victory! Jimmer told me after the game he was exhausted, something anyone who knew what he had been through the past 48 hours completely expected. After only about 5 hours sleep in two days, combined with the emotion of seeing his daughter being brought into the world, plus another 13 hour flight on top of that, I had no illusions of Jimmer being a ball of energy on that court Sunday night. However, knowing what I know about my little bro, I had no doubt he was gonna fight through the fatigue – and that’s exactly what he did. He went on to score 39 points and grab 10 rebounds to help lead the Sharks to a season saving win. He willed himself to a big-time performance, including hitting what should have been a game winning basket with only 2 seconds left in regulation. If not for a heroic buzzer beater by the opposing team, that off balance shot off the glass that Jimmer sunk just prior, would have put the game away. Jimmer however got one more chance to be the hero, and this time, he didn’t leave anything to chance. He caught fire in overtime, hitting his signature 3’s from all over the court and putting the nail in the coffin with an against all odds outstanding performance. How he was able to dig deep and muster up enough energy to close out that game the way he did, is a question for the ages. Some might say it was adrenaline, some might say it was a second wind. . . me personally, I think it was inspiration. . . inspiration from a little girl named Wesley James Fredette.

The Shark’s series is now tied 1 to 1. The excitement of the CBA Play-offs is just getting started. Stay tuned to find out how the rest of this thrilling season unfolds!

Also some breaking news! As I was finishing up this blog I got word that today Jimmer was officially named the MVP of the CBA for this season!!! What a week it has been for my bro. Congratulations once again J!! Another milestone that someday uncle T can share with little Wesley!

Jimmer just born big sister Lindsay holding him

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Jimmer holding his daughter for the first time

Their dog George wondering who that is.

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